I Froze My Eggs

Whew chile……it’s dusty in here ain’t it??? It’s been a while and I’ve honestly missed y’all, but life has been life-ing so we’re just doing the best we can. A lot has happened since I last wrote a post. So much so that we would be here all day if I tried to catch you up on everything. The most important update that I want to give is that after turning 34 and a career change, I decided to freeze my eggs. Yep, I pulled the trigger…literally. As a black woman who is turning 35 this year and has a strong desire to have children, with or without a partner, I decided that this was the best route for me to take. It was an emotional journey, and I feel that it’s important for me to share it with you.

It was around 32 that I first had the idea of freezing of my eggs. At the time, my OBYGN had assured me that I was still relatively young and would have plenty of time to have children. It’s not like she was wrong. According to my medical history, I was in a good shape and there were no obvious signs of fertility issues. It wasn't until my OBGYN suddenly decided to retire, and I turned 33 that freezing my eggs was something I was seriously considering. It wasn’t until I had conversation with a former colleague who had just gone through the process herself that I decided that this was something that I needed to do. At the time, I was considering a career change so I told myself that by the time I turn 34 and if I found a job that would cover the expenses, I would go through with it. Talk about speaking things into existence…

By September of 2022, I had transitioned to a new career, found a new OBYGN, and was diving head first into all things egg freezing. My new doctor referred me to an excellent fertility clinic that was not only covered by my insurance, but also accepted a program that my job offered to cover certain expenses. Everything was starting to line up so I just knew that I was meant do this. I didn't take into account until after my first consultation that freezing my eggs would stir up some emotions that I didn't know existed.

Taking shots in the morning and evening was my routine for a month

It really didn't hit me until after speaking with my doctor about my blood work and reproductions levels that I finally made the decision to do this. Being on birth control for so long had caused my levels to be lower than normal so I had to wait for two months before I could start the process in hopes that things would improve by December. I can’t lie, I panicked. Even though I was freezing my eggs, negative thoughts of not being able to conceive naturally ran through my mind. In effort to maintain control of my mental health, I decided to check back with my therapist while I went through this process. In talking to her, it hit me that as much as I have been raised to be super independent and to handle things on my own, this was a position that I never thought I would be in. While I am extremely grateful for the ability to freeze my eggs and give myself this chance, it showed me that life never turns out how you expected. It’s something that I really had to work through. Thankfully, my levels had improved enough by the end of December so I was able to start medications.

I don’t think anything ever prepares you to give yourself shot, especially in the stomach. I knew that I had a pretty high tolerance for pain due to the many tattoos that decorate my body, but having to give yourself a shot is mind blowing. I’m grateful for my support system who stepped in and offered to help if I ever needed it. After a run through with a good girlfriend, I was off to races with hormone shots every morning and evening. In between shots, I had weekly doctor visits to get bloodwork and monitor my process. What seemed smooth at first quickly became emotionally draining. My hormones would go from wanting to kiss every man that I saw to crying in the middle of the day for no reason. I did my best to keep my composure while around friends and work colleagues, but I fully let go whenever I was alone. While I was excited about taking this journey, I don’t think I took into account how taxing it would be on both my body and my mental state. To top it off, I would have a bad reaction every now and then to the needle pricks. I can’t tell you how bad I wanted off this ride.

The light at the end of tunnel was coming closer. The doctors were tracking about 7 mature eggs that were ready for extraction, which meant that the shots were almost over. After getting a definite date of extraction, my mom booked a flight to support me and I only had more shot to take before the procedure. I can’t tell you how elated I was that it was almost over. I was completely overwhelmed at work with trying to study for my PMP exam along with trying to launch a cocktail business while preparing myself for the egg extraction. God bless anyone who had to interact with me that week because I was no good. I’m just grateful that I had a community of people who continued to check on me and offer any support that I needed. It really meant the world to me.

I was very calm on extraction day. The staff was efficient and answered all my questions. I kept thinking to myself as I sat there waiting how blessed I was to be able to do this. The fertility journey is not cheap and many families go into lots of debt with hopes of starting a family and no guarantee of a positive outcome. Everyone should have access to this type of medical care without fear of exhausting all of their financial means. I’m grateful that they were able to retrieve 5 eggs that were all viable for freezing. While it wasn’t the amount I had hoped for, I was thankful for the ones I did get. The goal is to get between 15-20 eggs to have a great outcome if you ever decide to unfreeze. If you end up with a lower amount during a cycle, it’s recommended that you do another one.

Thinking back about my journey, I don’t regret it at all. While it was emotionally taxing and draining, I would recommend it to any women who hopes to have children in the future, but not in a serious relationship at the moment. For me personally, I’ve known since I was a little that I wanted to be a mother one day and even though I’m currently in my mid-thirties and still waiting on Mr. Right, those frozen eggs are my insurance of that dream. It also gives me a peace of mind while I navigate this ghetto dating world. To go a little deeper, I’ve promised myself that if I hit 39 and I’m still single, I’m willing to do the motherhood journey alone. I’m sure that this sounds harsh for some, but I don’t see a reason of denying myself this dream just because I don’t have a significant partner at the moment.

I have to be honest, I’m still processing several emotions after the extraction. In the follow up with my doctor, she suggested that I do another cycle of egg freezing because I’m considered to be on the lower end on reproduction levels. Hearing that has stuck with me because at the moment, I’m not ready to jump back into it. It’s expensive and I need a break emotionally. My body is still adjusting to being off all those hormones so I decided to hold for a year before I consider doing this again. Then again, who’s to say what will happen in a year?

For those that are considering freezing their eggs or if you have done it, I would love to hear from you. I believe this is something that Black women should be more vocal about and our stories matter so please reach out.