The Woes of Dating
"Single life is fun" and "You should take this time to meet new people" are just some of the things that I've been told when it comes to dating, I can say that so far, Issa no for me dawg.
We've talked about the adult questions you should ask when you first start talking to someone and how I'm extremely awkward when it comes to dating, but actually being out here and meeting people is a task in itself. There are times that I really want to scream "WHY ARE YA'LL LIKE THIS?" It shouldn't be this difficult. Here are some situations that I've encountered since becoming a single lady:
"What's Your Instagram Name? I can follow you."
I can't tell you how annoying it is when I meet someone and within the first five minutes of a conversation, you're asking me for my social media information. Sure, I use these apps to verify information just like everyone else (make sure there is no hidden wife or girlfriend) but you can't get to truly know me just by looking at my pictures on IG or Facebook. I might have a picture up with an old flame from like two years ago but you wouldn’t know that until you ask. Social media has made it easier for people to learn about one another's lives without putting in the real work, but I guarantee, your mind will be much more at ease if you have adult conversations face to face or over the phone. If he relies on social media to get all of his information, then you might not want to date him anyway.
"I'm Married"
Ain't nothing worse then meeting someone, hitting it off, and even going out on a few dates only to learn that they have an entire family at home. As crazy as this sounds, this happens all the time. Men take off their rings and will woo you without feeling bad about it. This has happened to me twice and the first time, a close friend had to sit me down and tell me.
Everything started to make sense when I found out. He could only meet at certain times and his social media presence seemed strange (FYI: Check the tagged pictures tab on their IG. You can usually find the wife or the girlfriend there). If you want to avoid this common mistake, make sure to ask him up front what his relationship status is. If he's not able to give you a straight answer to your face, walk away no matter how fine he is. You don't need that drama in your life and I'm sure the woman he has at home doesn't either.
"What You Doing?"
One word texts and dry conversations should not be a thing. Put the phone down and actually plan a face-to-face date. We met, we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet in the future so why haven't we done that yet. How did we get stuck in the worm hole of one word text messages? I can always tell within the first week of meeting someone if this is going to go somewhere just by the initiative the person is willing to take. I don't have a problem making a move but when it seems like I have to do all of the work, I'm over it. What makes this situation even funnier is after you have given up, haven't heard from this person in like three weeks and then they pop up to say "Why haven't we gone out yet?" Sir...you clearly wanted to stay in the friend zone because you haven't made any moves and you've resigned yourself to one word messages every two hours. Nope, not interested.
I'm sure plenty of people would suggest dating apps after reading this and trust, I have and it's pretty much the same. I'm just at the point now where I want to make a real connection with someone upon meeting them. I need to feel your vibe in person, if you twitch when your nervous, and if you can look me in my eye when having a conversation. I need to see you straight on and not hiding behind an app. So far, I've scored once in this dating game and I'm considering just staying there and working on my jump shot. I'm sure it will improve eventually.
Besides that, staying at home on a Friday night, watching Netflix and washing clothes has become really appealing lately. At least I'm guaranteed an evening of great entertainment and less of a headache.
