Black Womyn, We All We Got
I’ve seriously been trying to limit my intake of social media lately. It’s hard because during this time of global revolution, social media has been the most reliable source of information about what’s going on across the world. Live videos have allowed me to see how people are taking to the streets to fight for black lives and their fundamental human rights, and I’m thankful that I can do that. However, even in these moments, I can admit that it can be overwhelming. The constant videos of civilians being targeted and attacked by people in riot gear or transwomen being beat by people with the same skin color as them can be too much, so I’ve been very careful to avoid these “visual landmines” where I can. But, a few weeks ago, a video slipped through the cracks, and I was absolutely devastated. In the video, a young black woman has been tossed into a dumpster and young black men stand around her, not helping her, but filming and cracking jokes at her expense. A defenseless young girl was thrown in the dumpster by black boys. Think about it. This was Strike 1.
This devastation was further compounded by the horrible kidnapping, torture, and murder of Oluwatoyin “Toyin” Salau at the hands of a black man. A black woman, who had been tirelessly advocating that Black lives mattered, and had been described as an emerging leader of the movement was killed by a fucking black man. Can you believe that shit? In this man’s eyes, her body was a commodity that he had to own and she wasn’t worthy of a safe place to wash her body or lay her head without some form of payment. Do you know how hard it is to reckon with the fact that you failed a young black woman that you didn’t even know? And that as a result of this failure, she was taken from this world way too soon? This was Strike 2.
SAY HER NAME OLUWATOYIN SALAU
I’m ashamed to say that Strike 3 is peanuts compared to Strikes 1 & 2. J. Cole woke up one day and decided that not only was his WiFi broken, but Google was unavailable as well. So, as a result, he decided to berate a female black rapper for having the common sense to do some damn research before she opened her mouth. He said that she talked down to people like him and that her time would better spent educating black men like him so that they can be on the same level. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that it was a black woman’s responsibility to advocate for black lives, mostly black men’s lives, AND educate you on systematic racism and the revolution. My bad, Jermaine. Cole. Cole World. Mr. Nice Watch. Got all them damn nicknames but can’t open a damn book. It wasn’t enough that he said it, but black men tried to gaslight black women when they called J Cole out on it. Enough is enough. I’m sick of this shit.
Noname. Photo courtesy of Rolling Stone.
Black womyn, we’ve always known this, but let the things above serve as a reminder that we’re all that we got. We have to take care of ourselves, protect each other, and uplift each other because nobody else is going to do it. And please notice that I said Black Womyn, not women, because we have to include our trans-sisters. Their lives matter too. While I had hoped that this current movement would account for Black Womyn, it’s become clear that it will not. John Boyega went to a Black Lives Matter protest in London and told Black men that they have to take better care of Black women, and Black men let that shit go in one ear and out the other. Black womyn can put our lives on the line for black men each and every damn day, and they will still find ways to neglect us, put us down, and make sure that we understand our place in the hierarchy: underneath black men.
Black women found that beautiful black girl that was thrown into a dumpster and gave her a complete makeover. They took all of that inner beauty that was already inside and brought some of it outwards. They spent time with her and made her laugh and smile. They helped that young black girl, but they shouldn’t have had to do that. Black men should instill in young black boys that black women should be cherished and loved. They should teach black boys that black womyn should be protected and they do not deserve to serve as your punching bag because you’re unable to deal with how the world outside of your home treats you. Black womyn should be treated with respect and love because you came from a black woman. Black men have to do a better job of protecting black womyn from threat INSIDE and outside of own community. Yeah, I said it. There are threats inside of our damn communities. You ready to have that conversation or nah?
The things are just a sample of things that Black Womyn have had to deal with over the past few weeks. I didn’t talk about how the officers who are responsible for the death of Breonna Taylor have not been arrested or charged. I surely didn’t talk about how the Breakfast Club and other media outlets have been giving a platform to Russell Simmons despite the fact that he’s fleeing allegations of sexual assault against multiple women? I certainly didn’t talk about how we’re all supposed to act like Fabolous didn’t knock out Emily B’s teeth for the next Verzuz battle. Or, the countless amount of womyn who have courageously come forward via social to tell their stories of assault or harassment by Black men. No, we’re not going to talk about those things because we must be focused on the cause right now. We can’t multitask, and we certainly can’t allow our focus to stray, right? GTFOH. I swear some of ya’ll would rather play games in Black womyn’s faces than cut off the friends that you know are abusers and users of Black Womyn. Some Black men would rather defend their favorite on Twitter for two seconds of clout than defend the Black womyn that you call sisters, homegirls, or even mother. It’s pathetic honestly, and I just want to you know that we see you.
Photo courtesy of USA Today
Black womyn, I wish that things were different. I wish that Black men protected us and loved us the way that we deserved, but that’s not our current reality. Maybe we will reach that place one day. Who knows? Until then, we must love and protect each other. We have to continue to support each other, and that includes calling each other out when we’re on some bullshit. Real love includes tough love, and we must be unafraid to check other Black Womyn when we’re doing something that’s wrong. It’s a natural part of growing and learning. Furthermore, we must instill these same values in the younger generation. Mentor them, have difficult conversations with them, and learn from them. They can definitely teach us a few things! Most importantly, we must tell them that our love for them is unconditional and follow through on that statement. If nobody else will have their back, a Black Womyn will. If nobody else will say their names and fight for their rights? We will. Why? Because we all we got!
