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Black Women & Elizabeth Warren. How the Hell Did that Happen?

Black Women & Elizabeth Warren. How the Hell Did that Happen?

Disclaimer: Before any of ya’ll open up your fat mouths or go digging into my past tweets, let me tell you that I have a friend who works for Elizabeth Warren. He does not know that I wrote this piece, and he certainly has not influenced any of the shit that I wrote. If I did write something, I’m sure he would prefer if I used less profanity so that he could actually share it with his boss. Furthermore, this article is not an endorsement by anyone at The 94 Percent; it’s just a statement of opinion (AKA FACTS).

I am on the Elizabeth Warren train, and I have no fucking clue how I ended up here. I’m actively rooting for a white woman in political office, and I don’t know how to feel about it. After the betrayal that was the 2016 election, I wasn’t even convinced that this could happen.

If I’m being brutally honest, when Elizabeth first announced her intention to seek the presidency, I didn’t understand She was a force in the Senate, and that’s where I thought she would stay forever. I’ve always known her as the Baddest Bitch in Senate because she wasn’t afraid to check any of those assholes. She has always been what the Hill needs, so when she announced her intention to run, I couldn’t help but to use my best T.I. voice to ask, “Now why you wanna go and do that, love?”

Didn’t she know that once Kamala entered the race, black women were going to ride or die for her? Kamala’s black, we’re black...it just makes sense. Furthermore, didn’t she understand that if Kamala didn’t make it past the primaries, then Joe Biden would surely get our vote? And please note that it’s not because we like him; black women don’t give a shit about Joe Biden. Despite how loveable he tried to appear during his years as VP for Obama, we’ve never forgotten how he treated Anita Hill. We wouldn’t vote for him because we liked him but rather because we know that if all else fails, he is the one that can defeat the Trump monster in the White House. In my opinion, it was going to be either of these two candidates or another term with Trump. There was no in between, and there certainly was no other competition, despite what these other mediocre white politicians liked to think. See: Buttigieg, Beto, Booker, DiBlasio, or any of the other 50-11 white men running for president.

Me whenever another white man announces his intention to run for president…

Me whenever another white man announces his intention to run for president…

Imagine my surprise over the past few months as the “me, you, yo mama, and yo cousin too” of Democratic candidates continued to show their entire ass on the campaign trail by making mistake after mistake. Corey Booker is so focused on trying to prove that he’s not single that he’s forgotten that he’s actually running for national office. Maybe if he focused more on policy issues instead of trying to proclaim “his boo”, he might actually realize that if it walks like a racist, talks like a racist, and acts like a racist…guess what? Issa racist! Buttigieg is walking around with his sleeves rolled up like he’s a fucking extra in the West Wing, but I don’t think even Aaron Sorkin could’ve come up with that “5 apolitical Justices” bullshit. And DiBlasio? Well, he should have just sat down somewhere and ate his fucking food. Gilibrand thinks that the way to end the opioid epidemic is to limit prescriptions to seven days. Clearly she didn’t consult anyone in the disability community before dropping that mess. And honestly. I think that Marianne Williamson is running just so ya’ll will finally give her credit for that “Our deepest fear…” quote instead of Nelson Mandela.


Kamala has spent the majority of her time campaigning to major donors, and making me question whether or not, “she’s really for the people.” Her stance on policy issues are nothing more than surface level statements of rhetoric that we’ve already heard from her. Her most in-depth policy issue so far is the one focusing on closing the pay gap, but if I’m being honest, it seems to be focused more on “all women” and not so much “women of color”. And Lord, Joe Biden, keeps digging a deeper hole for himself every day. The fake apology to Anita Hill, the snarky ass remarks about millennials, and oh, let’s not forget that he can’t keep his hands to his motherfucking self. The fact that he hasn’t even announced any real policy proposals is just the icing on an old ass, white man  cake. Looking at these two, I question whether they’re running for president of the United States or for Miss Congeniality. I don’t think they fully understand how afraid Americans are of another 4 years of a Trump-Pence administration. Do you got a plan or nah? Because we can’t do another 4 years of fighting a war on all fronts. The world was shitty before November 7, 2016, but my God, has it gotten so much worse. You know who does understands that this isn’t a fucking game? Elizabeth Warren.

Elizabeth every week with her newest policy announcement…

Elizabeth every week with her newest policy announcement…

Elizabeth has policy initiatives like the Shade Room has receipts. She truly has a plan for everything, and for those things that she doesn’t, it seems like she’s working on them. I love that she has a Universal Child Care and Student Debt Loan Calculator. While I’m not directly affected by either one of these particular issues, I have friends that are. I know how much of a burden student loan debt can be on recent graduates, and I’ve seen personally how rising costs for child care can put a strain on families. The fact that we can log on to her website and use these calculators to see how much money we would get to keep under her plans is, in my opinion, the best thing since sliced bread. It’s not just these initiatives. It’s the fact that when I log on to her website to read about her issues, I get more than just a landing page. It’s about the fact that in her statement about maternal mortality, racism is mentioned. It means that she’s thinking about these issues from an intersectional perspective, and that’s the kind of shit that turns me on!

And when it comes to black women, Elizabeth isn’t playing any damn games. She’s asking us to listen. And surprisingly, black women actually are. That’s right, I’m not the only one on the Elizabeth Warren train. I’ve seen comments from hundreds of other black women who are in the same position as me. “I don’t know when I started riding for Elizabeth Warren, but gotdammit, here I am.” Do you know what did it for us? It’s something very simple. She’s actually listening to us. It’s all we’ve ever asked for. Elizabeth has been having one-on-one conversations with some of the most influential young black womyn (yes, she’s even been talking to our trans-sisters) in our country. She’s been listening to their concerns and implementing them into her speeches, conversations, policy initiatives, etc. And not only that, but it seems that Elizabeth is prepared when she comes to these conversations. She’s already done the research before she meets us at the door! Hell, the fact that she made it through an unnecessary interview with Charlemagne at the Breakfast Club without saying something to get dragged by Black Twitter is enough to convince me that we should start calling her Elizabeth Warren, First of her Name, Teflon of Don, the Unburned, Snatcher of Republican Edges, and Implementer of Real Ass Policies for Real Ass People. (If you haven’t not seen that clip of her getting Megan McCain’s useless ass together on the View, then you are truly missing a treat.)

Now, as much as I admire all of the great things that Elizabeth is doing, I also recognize that she has some challenges. While she may have won over young black women, I think she’s going to struggle with black men and older blacks in general. Most of them are probably already planning to vote for Biden so she’s going to have to figure out how to win them over (I don’t think that Kamala even entered their thought matrix). I worry about her ability to verbally drag certain people when the time comes for it. I know that she can be shady, but is she ready to open the doors to the library and read folks for filth during the debates? They’re going to come for her, and I hope she’s prepared to be a true Nasty Girl. The time for “they go low, we go high” is OVER. Additionally, I think that most of her policy issues seem to be focusing on domestic issues, while her approach to international issues leaves something to be desired.  I don’t have a firm grasp on her foreign policy and defense issues, and those are things that are very important to me. However, I’m willing to give her time to work on those things. Why? Because Elizabeth is an active listener and learner, and that’s the characteristic of a great leader…and a cool ass professor LOL.

 So, I say all of this to say that I owe Elizabeth Warren an apology. I underestimated her, and I certainly didn’t put any RESPECK on her name. It’s been a surreal experience for me to tentatively place trust in a white woman. As I mentioned earlier, it was something that I didn’t think was possible after the 2016 election and the special elections in Virginia and Alabama. I’m starting to have hope again, and I think that other black women are as well. It’s a nice thing to have, especially considering the gloom and doom surrounding us. We’ve got 17 months to go so, Elizabeth, don’t fuck it up!

 P.S. Please note how I did not mention Bernie Sanders one time in this article. Why?

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