Jan 18

Jan 18 JT & His Lemon Flavor-Aid

Justin Timberlake is trash. He’s been that way for a long time, but recently, his garbage levels have just gone through the roof. I’m not going to lie, I used to LOVE (all caps necessary) me some Justin Timberlake. "Justified" had HITS. “Let’s Take a Ride,” “Cry Me a River,” and “Senorita” are all my jams.

And let’s not talk about “Future Sex/Love Sounds.” It’s one of the very few albums that I can listen to from beginning to end, even if a huge chunk of that is ridiculously long interludes. It also gives me an excuse to give my best attempt at a Kappa Shimmy when “Set the Mood” comes on. But good music aside, the man is trash. Let me count the ways.

By now, I’m sure you’ve seen his video introduction/prelude/whatever for his new album, “Man in the Woods." It’s clear that Justin is trying to have his own version of Beyonce’s iconic, legendary, and unforgettable “Lemonade." I mean, for someone who made their career biting off the style of black R&B artists, this should not be surprising. Seriously though, it looks exactly like some of the bayou scenes from “Lemonade.” The problem is that Justin simply does not have the range. Therefore, I’m calling this album his Lemon Shasta. His Lemon Water. His Lemon Flavor-Aid. His water with lemon and two packs of Sugar.

In the video, we see Justin in his best Urban Outfitter’s fake Navajo print flannel walking around in the woods. At one point, a woman’s voice says, “It feels like… the Wild West.” Pause. Are we talking about the same Nashville? Because…okay. For me, the icing on the cake was him wading in some dirty ass lake with no shirt on.

Plenty of people on Twitter took the opportunity to say that this was him symbolizing his rebirth as a white man. Where’s the lie?

Justin’s problematic. He was problematic when he started in the game, and he’s problematic now. The cornrows, the frosted tips, the bandanas, that horrible denim outfit. All of it. Let’s call a spade a spade.

First of all, he’s the king of appropriation. As I said earlier, he’s made his entire career out of emulating black artists, and now all of a sudden, he’s made his money so he wants to return to his roots? Okay sis.

Second, Justin wouldn’t be shit right now if it wasn’t for Timbaland and Pharrell. JC Chasez could have easily had Justin’s solo career if he had hooked up with Timbaland before Justin did. Fight me. You know it, and I know it. JC hit those runs long before Justin did, and those are the facts.

Third, he’s a hypocrite. He wore a “TIME’S UP” pin to the Golden Globes, but he just recently starred in a Woody Allen movie. It doesn’t add up Justin, and he knew it didn’t because he threw the hashtag at the end of several tweets praising how hot his wife is. Whatever Justin. Your willing participation in a Woody Allen film shows that you are complicit in the sexual assault, rape, molestation, harassment and degradation of women, including underage girls. Go fuck yourself.

I was fairly young when he exposed Janet Jackson’s breast during the Superbowl, but I remember the controversy surrounding the incident. I remember how Janet Jackson was completely dragged through the mud, punished by the media, and called everything but a child of God. I remember how her career took a nosedive, while his continued to rise to the top. Most importantly, I remember how he completely distanced himself from her and the incident afterwards. He hung Janet out to dry. He stayed silent and left her to deal with the hellacious aftermath alone.

It’s true; everybody wants to be black until the cops come, except for in this case it was the FCC. During a recent interview, he says that he had his wires crossed during the performance, and that it’s just something that you live and you learn from. He states that he and Janet have made peace with it, and it’s not up to him to discuss it.

I don’t know how Janet could have ever forgiven him for that, especially considering there were rumors that they were dating at that time. The way he abandoned her is not okay. The way that he gets to have the opportunity to perform at the Superbowl Half Time show again, and it’s pretty obvious that Janet never will, is not okay. In fact, if he’s not planning on bringing Janet out with him during this show, I have no interest in watching it.

Even his tone while discussing the incident is dismissive, and it’s obvious that he’s only addressing the issues because his performance is less than a month away. Once again, fuck him.

Justin is the definition of a privileged white man, and he has no problem building his career off the backs of women and minorities. It may sound harsh, but when you really think about it and look back over the years, it’s true. I have no interest in listening to his Lemon Shasta. I mean, the first track isn’t all that inspiring. Furthermore, the fact that he’s decided to hold the listening party at Prince’s Paisley Park in Minnesota—despite the fact that he knew that Prince couldn’t stand his ass—is just further proof of how disrespectful he is.

I guess, you’re really showing him, right Justin? God, I never knew how much he disgusted me until I started writing this. Let me just stop. Have fun frolicking in the woods with your water with lemon. Asshole.

P.S. Since I drafted this post last night, he has now released a video where he's basically branding himself as a male ally. It's about him willing to be a ride-or-die for somebody, I'm guessing women in the fight for equality. The name of the song is "Supplies," and it's basically over a trap beat complete with Migos ad libs and a Kanye worthy synthesizer. SIR! I'm literally crying, bent over my desk in laughter. Somebody come get him immediately.