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Dar'shun Kendrick & the Testicular Bill of Rights

Dar'shun Kendrick & the Testicular Bill of Rights

We all know how much men, especially white men, love to regulate the bodies of women in this country. It’s one of their favorite past times, and something I believe that they bond over while smoking cigars and drinking whiskey. Georgia Republicans’ decision to propose HB 481 is the perfect example of this. If you aren’t aware, HB 481, also known as the “Heartbeat Bill” would ban abortions in Georgia at about six weeks, which is way before many women even know they are pregnant. Think about it, if your period starts regularly, which for many, it fucking doesn’t, you will only have missed one period before the window before abortion closes. That’s not enough time to make a decision that will affect you for the rest of your life. Additionally,  fetuses would qualify for state income tax deductions and “state population based determinations” (whatever the fuck that means).

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t’s bullshit. You know, I know it, they know it. Banning abortions does not eliminate them; rather it forces the procedures underground where a woman’s chances of dying or being irreversibly harmed by the procedure skyrocket. We’re all well educated, so we know this, right? Well at least we should. Clearly, Georgia Republicans don’t care because they are still persisting with this bullshit. However, they weren’t ready for the ultimate clapback from Dar’shun Kendrick.

Dar’Shun Kendrick is a Black female Democratic member of the Georgia House of Representatives, and she is PETTY. She said, “oh, you want to regulate some bodies, well let’s regulate some damn bodies then.” I imagine her facing off against a white male Republican like Brittany and Tiffany from White Chicks. “You wanna talk about Motherrrrrrrrrrrrs.” Representative Kendrick decided to leave the Handmaidens outfits to the protestors outside the building, and instead, proposed something she has called, “the Testicular Bill of Rights.”

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When you read the full text of the bill, it’s evident that this former lawyer did not come to play. Her bulleted list includes the following:

  • Requiring men to get permission from their sex partner before obtaining any medication for erectile dysfunction (Viagra was specifically named).

  • Banning vasectomy procedures in Georgia and punitive measures for doctors who perform them. (Note: In her original memo, she wrote “…with the name punitive measures for performing the procedures that are listed in HB 481”. We stan a petty queen!)

  • Making sex without a condom an “aggravated” assault for men.

  • Requiring a paternity test at 6 weeks and one day with the explicit intention of determining who the father is and immediately starting child support.

  • Implementing a 24 hour hold on men who wish to purchase sex toys or pornography.

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WHEW! Step on their necks sis. Now, we all know that the likelihood of such a bill passing is not high at all. However, that’s not the point. Representative Kendrick wanted to put everyone in the Georgia House of Representatives on notice. If you want to come for women, don’t be surprised when we step to you. We will not continue to stand idly by while you make decisions about our bodies without consulting us first. We don’t need red robes or pink pussy hats. We just need you to show up with the same energy you had when you drafted these outrageous bills in rooms without women.

We see you Dar’Shun Kendrick, and we salute you. You’re making this old peach very proud. Keep up the great fight!

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